Before I Cross My Heart
by writeaboutweasley
Summary: A RonHarry. Mention of LupinSirius. Some other pairings. Ron is in it for the fun, and Harry is in it for the love, how will it end, or even start?
1. Do Your Parents Know?

**Before I Cross My Heart**

**Summary: A Ron/Harry. Mention of Lupin/Sirius. Ron is in it for the fun, and Harry is in it for the love, how will it end? **

_**

* * *

**__**Please Read: Set in 6****th**** year. Sirius is not dead. Lupin is back as DADA professor.**_

(Hermione's P.O.V)

The relationship came out of no where. Everyone told me Ron liked _me_. I didn't really like him back as much as I thought I did. I wasn't hurt when he came to talk to me about why he didn't like me. It was a reason I could have never imagined. He was gay. He just flat out told me that he had finally figured out why he didn't have feelings for me like he used to.

That I was fine with. And I told him that and asked him if Harry knew. He had turned bright red. I asked another question. Did he like Harry? Yes, yes he did. And that's when he told me he and Harry had been in a relationship since that summer at the Burrow. He said the only other people that knew were Fred and George.

The twins, surprisingly, he told me, had taken it well. He had told them before anyone. He had expected ridicule beyond belief, but they had been perfectly fine with it and not one smart remark.

The next step Ron had needed to take was…well…the whole school. He said the relationship wouldn't work unless everyone else knew. So they had started with the Gryffindors. They didn't exactly just tell everyone, they just didn't hide their affection anymore while in the common room. And when the question "Are you two gay?" started coming they would reply with yes, and tell them not to tell anyone outside of Gryffindor.

Of course they wouldn't, since it was an order from Harry Potter, and while Harry Potter was untouchable, of course his boyfriend was as well.

Their relationship made me melt inside. The horrible truth of one of them not making it out of the war alive made them have a horrible case of separation anxiety unless I was with one of them. At times I wish there were two of me. Because when I was with Ron while Harry continued Occlumency lessons with Snape, I wished I could also be with Harry, because him being away from Ron probably made him weak, and he came back tired and unhappy, and mostly took out his frustration by speaking pretty harshly to Ron, who would then also become unhappy and cling to me for the rest of the night.

But at the times they really needed each other, they were always there. The affection and spark between them was much more than a couple that had been with each other for over a year when their relationship had only been there for four months. Ron had confided with me several times about things he was worried about. He had told me that he wanted to tell his parents but was worried because their family had a tradition of having a, well, large family. I had asked him if he actually planned on marrying Harry…which Ron said he had no idea. So I told him if he wanted a family he should adopt.

Out of the question. That's where Ron said he didn't want to actually get married to Harry. He admitted it quietly and I asked him if he was afraid of commitment, which he said he was, but only when it came to marriage. He said marriage took the fun out of everything.

I asked him if Harry knew all this and he said no. He didn't even know if the relationship would last that long. He didn't know if he would let it.

But as I watched the two as the secret slipped to a Ravenclaw girl, and it spread like a fire through the whole school. Ron and Harry managed to suffer through the ridicule they got from the Slytherins, who seemed like the only people who had the nerve to make fun about it. Ron and Harry mostly ignored it.

And one day after a Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Lupin (who had come back mostly to keep an eye on Harry), he told us to stay after class. I was glad he asked me to stay as well.

"What do you plan on doing?" he asked Ron and Harry, "Do your parents know?"

Ron's gaze lowered and he folded his arms over his stomach after brushing a lock of fiery red hair out of his face which immediately fell back to its original spot.

"No," he muttered.

Harry's gaze also left Lupin's. Lupin asked to speak to us separately. I told him I was staying with whoever was in the classroom at the time. There was no way I was going to let him ask any questions I thought inappropriate. Although I never asked him to stop when he asked,

"Ron…I'm going to ask this because Voldemort is going to kill anyone close to Harry."

Ron had already been broken down by Lupin's question of if his parents had known, and now he looked like he was going to cry.

"Do you really love him?" Lupin continued.

There. That had done it. I grabbed Ron's hand to force him to stay there. I hated Lupin for asking the question but I knew it needed to be done.

"Ron," Lupin prompted, "I'm sorry but, at this age sometimes the only reason you even begin to think that you're in love with someone of the same sex is curiosity. I'll admit, Sirius and I did have a relationship for a few months when I thought I loved him, and it never worked out. You need to think very hard."

Ron never had a chance to answer. Finally Lupin gave in and let him leave. Harry never came in to answer questions. And then Lupin wanted to talk to me.

"Do I think they love each other?" I exclaimed, repeating his question for me, "Remus, I can't answer for them." I used his first name, this was not his business, "But I think they do in all honesty."

"Hermione," Lupin said, sounding exasperated, "I know you think this isn't fair for me to ask you anything, but it's for your safety. If Voldemort-"

"Finds out Ron and Harry are in love with each other then he's going to kill Ron, we've all talked about it!" I interrupted, standing up, "Me, Ron, and Harry. We all know. They know. They worry about it every day!"

Frustrated, I grabbed my school bag and stomped out of the classroom. All my respect for Lupin was gone. I knew our safety was in his best interest but he couldn't interrogate us like this. Not about a relationship. When I walked out of the room, Harry and Ron were gone. I hadn't expected them to stay there with Ron that upset. I didn't go looking for them, I just headed to the Great Hall and sat down next to Ginny.

"Where are they?" she asked me, obviously meaning Ron and Harry.

"Lupin told us to stay after class," I said, and then explained the conversations we had had with him.

"He actually asked him if he loved Harry?" Ginny exclaimed in a whisper, "That's kind of…rude."

"A teacher doesn't even have the right to ask that," I said angrily. I was unable to eat. I was worried about Ron. He hadn't even stood up for him or Harry when Lupin asked him that question. I had been able to tell that Ron just thought this was all fun, but he did sometimes act like he was completely in love, but it did leave me wondering and it had apparently forced Ron into actually thinking. Did he love Harry?

And I knew Harry obviously did love Ron. I knew that for sure. He had never said it, Harry didn't talk to me about the relationship. But it was obvious. I didn't know how or why, but it was apparent that he was in love. And a part of me knew that he knew Ron was probably just having fun, but he didn't care.

Lost in my thought, I didn't notice that Harry had just sat down next to me. I looked over at him, he was angry.

"How is he?" I asked, gently touching his arm.

"Well…" he replied, trailing off, "Worse than when he came out of the classroom. He didn't tell me what happened. What did Lupin say?"

"Something inappropriate," I responded, "I'd rather have Ron tell you. Did…" I dropped my tone to a whisper and leaned closer to Harry, "Did Sirius ever tell you that-"

"He dated Lupin?" Harry finished, "Yeah, he did. Of course he did. He knows about me and Ron. That was the first thing he told me."

"What did your dad think about it?" I asked curiously.

"He didn't approve, but Sirius said that my dad told him as long as they were happy."

I smiled. He didn't return it. I knew he was worried about Ron.

The day went by slowly. And that night we all sat in the common room on the couch in front of the fire. Ron still looked upset and Harry still looked worried. Ron had seemed to avoid him all day, but I don't think he even noticed that he was. I watched them, Ron curled up against Harry.

By now they were both the same build and same height. But when I had first seen Ron that summer I had almost honestly mistaken him for Bill but with shorter hair. Harry never seemed to really change, but he had perked up a bit since being Ron's boyfriend.

I found the relationship slightly odd in the fact that Harry seemed more dominant than he had been. I always thought Ron had been the dominant one in the relationship but after studying it further, he was the shy one. He had actually admitted that he was scared of intimacy. I never thought he would be one to be scared of that, but after realizing how self-conscious he was I could see how that could happen.

I, being a girl, honestly thought Ron was gorgeous. After maturing a bit. He wasn't the least bit fat, but wasn't so skinny anymore. Everything seemed to be muscle. I had seen him with his shirt of plenty of times before since I had gone to the Burrow a week before school had started.

"Ron," I said suddenly when I stopped thinking about all this, "Do Bill and Charlie know?"

Ron, whose eyes had been closed, looked over at me and said,

"No. At least...I didn't tell them. Fred, George, or Ginny might have. I'm not worried about them knowing, though. Just my parents."

"Do you honestly think they're going to disapprove?" I asked, hating to ask him all this after what had happened in Lupin's class.

I saw his hand tighten around Harry's and he said,

"I don't know what they're going to say."

I didn't pursue it.

* * *

**Review, please.**

**I don't know if I like it yet, so...**


	2. Either You Are Or You're Not

(Ron's P.O.V)

Oh boy, where to start. This relationship was…indescribable. If I wanted to be honest…I didn't know if I loved Harry or not. I told him I did, of course. And at times I thought I might. Of course when you're in the middle of a really great make-out session in the Prefects bathroom you might say, think, or do anything.

Hermione and Lupin's questioning did make me think. And that's what really made me upset because no, I didn't love Harry. He was my best friend and I was just having fun. And I wouldn't do anything to hurt him so I doubted I would ever break up with him. Hermione told me Harry loved me, and I knew that. It hurt me to think that he loved me, and that's why we agreed to do this all, but I didn't love him back, but I told him I loved him.

The day following Lupin's question was a Hogsmeade day. I was glad I wouldn't have to face Lupin again. But apparently it meant I would have to face Sirius. Harry told me Sirius wanted to talk to us. I was okay with that, Sirius wasn't so bad.

Hermione left somewhere with Ginny and Harry and I went to the Shrieking Shack where we were to meet Sirius. Thankfully no one was around and we just walked inside. Sirius was there waiting.

"Hello boys," he said, sitting on a dusty couch.

We followed suit and Sat on the couch next to that one. Neither of us said anything, the last questioning had been bad enough and although Sirius and Lupin were two different people, they'd have the same questions.

"So Lupin told me," Sirius said, "That he tried talking to you."

Harry nodded. I didn't say or do anything. This would be just like last time, I knew it.

"He didn't tell me what he said," Sirius continued, "But he said it started not so well and ended even worse." At that point he looked over at me, "And I'm not going to ask you anything. He didn't send me here to question you, he didn't send me at all."

Yeah right.

"Then why did you want to talk to us?" Harry asked, "You want to know the same things he does, don't you?"

"Only if you wish to tell me," Sirius replied, "Otherwise I have no interest."

Harry looked over at me, I shrugged.

"Do you want to talk to me separately?" Sirius asked.

I didn't want to talk at all. But before I knew it, Harry was leaving, to come back when I left.

"So…" Sirius said, "Good relationship?"

I shrugged.

"Yeah…I mean...when I figured out I was gay he wasn't my first choice for a boyfriend."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, not looking the least bit fazed.

"Well, I didn't know he was gay," I replied, "And when I did know…I thought we were too good of friends to start something more."

So much easier than talking to Lupin.

"I understand," Sirius replied, nodding, "So have your thoughts changed any?"

I shrugged again.

"I'm still confused," I said truthfully, "I mean…I still love Harry like a best friend but…the relationship for me is just…fun."

Sirius nodded, waiting for more. But I had nothing else to say.

"That's the same way I felt about my relationship with Lupin," he said, "I was in it for the fun. I enjoyed having something out of the ordinary. Something a lot of people disapproved of."

I nodded. Not because that's the way I felt now, but that's the way I had been in the beginning. When I told Fred and George I thought I might be gay, they, like Hermione, asked me if I liked Harry. I said I was kind of unsure.

And even though I was gay, I was still only in the relationship because of pure attraction and for the fun of it. Being with him made me happy. And I hoped I made him happy.

"I've gotta go," I said finally, I didn't want to pursue the questioning, "I'll tell Harry to come in."

I left the Shrieking Shack. Harry had been waiting behind the shack so no one would see us coming in or out.

"How'd it go?" he asked me.

"Better," I replied, "It's a lot easier talking to him than Lupin."

Harry nodded and then he walked past me and into the Shrieking Shack. I stood outside the door for a few minutes and then he came back out.

"Well you were right," he said as we walked back towards Hogsmeade, "It is a lot easier than talking to Lupin. I mean…he just seems like all he wants to do is accuse us of stuff. But Sirius just seems like he could care less about whether we like each other or not."

We stepped onto the dirt road the led down the center of the village. As we did we were immediately attacked by my dear loving twin brothers that could annoy the hell out of me without either of them saying a word.

"How are the lovers, eh?" asked George, stepping in between us and linking an arm around either of our shoulders.

Harry laughed. I detached myself from George and fell into step with Fred.

"Getting into all sorts of…fun?" George continued, I rolled my eyes, he couldn't see, he was walking behind me.

Fred poked me in the side.

"No really," he said, "How far have you managed to get?" he had dropped his voice to a whisper.

"Not as far as you think," I snapped.

Did everyone have to know? In all honesty, Harry and I hadn't gone any farther than just kissing. Sometimes he wanted to go farther but I never did. I don't really know what's wrong with me. It just starts to feel so…wrong. I hate pushing him away, but after a while he got the picture and never tried to start anything again.

"Why not?" Fred asked sincerely while George continued to force the answers out of Harry.

This was when I was glad I had older brothers. Growing up in a house with older brothers pretty much caused me to be a sexually precocious child. I knew more about sex than I did about magic by the time I was 10, just by Fred, George, and I eaves dropping on Bill and Charlie's conversations with each other about how far they had gone with girls.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug, "He's the one that wants to go that far."

"You don't?"

"It feels so…wrong."

"Wrong? What's wrong about it?"

We walked into the Hogs Head where we could talk without being heard by anyone else. George and Harry had become completely oblivious to the fact that we had ditched them.

"I don't know," I repeated, sitting down.

"Two Firewhisky's," Fred told the bartender, to me he asked, "Why not?"

"I don't know why I don't know," I said truthfully, tracing patterns into the dusty tabletop, "We just…get there…and I don't want to anymore. And I don't want to as much as I really want to. Something doesn't feel right about it."

"Because you don't love him?" Fred asked, taking both of the bottles of Firewhisky from the man that brought them, he handed me one and took a large drink out of his.

"Not just that," I said, "It's something else."

"Do you think you might not be gay?"

"What?"

While Fred thought about what he had just assumed, I took a drink of the Firewhisky.

"Well," he said, "Maybe you're not _gay_ but your _attracted_ to the thought of _being_ gay."

A pause.

"That's stupid," I said with a slight laugh, "I mean, either you are or you're not."

"Don't be so close-minded about it," Fred said, grinning at me.

"But it's not just that," I replied, "I've kissed him and all that but when it gets too far something in my mind just tells me to stop. That it has to stop."

"So go that far," Fred instructed me, "Once. Just to see how you feel afterwards."

I took another drink.

"Who was your first?" I asked, realizing I never knew.

"Lee."

I had been in the middle of another drink and I choked.

"I'm kidding!" Fred exclaimed, laughing hysterically.

Once he stopped he said,

"Angelina. After an absolutely glorious ass-kicking against the Slytherin quidditch team."

I waited for more details.

"You know, it all started with making out in the showers when everyone had left and it just eventually fell into place," he said, as though explaining some sort of party planning experience.

"Was it weird afterwards?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like…was it hard to talk to her?"

"No," he replied, "Not really."

"What about George?"

"His first was…" Fred thought about it for a moment, "Some Hufflepuff girl. I don't remember her name. You'll have to ask him."

We finished our drinks and then left to try and find George and Harry. They were at the Three Broomsticks. The twins said they had to go back to their shop and Apparated.

"So what did you and Fred talk about?" Harry asked after suggesting we should find Hermione and Ginny.

"You'll find out sooner or later."

* * *

**Review, it makes me smile.**


	3. Not Wrong Anymore

(Harry's P.O.V)

Ron was the most immature person I knew besides Fred and George. He said the wrong things at the wrong time, he didn't do his own school work, he had the ability to talk with such obscene, foul language, but I loved him.

It was such a simply complicated fact about me that anyone who didn't know that I was completely in love with this boy that I could have laughed in their face.

At some points I did know that Ron wasn't as emotionally attached to me as I was to him but to me it didn't matter. As long as he was with me I was fine. He became so submissive every time I was around him that I wondered how he could be so dominant when it came to him being the Gryffindor Team Captain.

His kissing was one of those things I was incapable of describing. And that's what hurt us the most. It left me wanting more. More of him. Just…more. And when we got there, he stopped. He would try, and then push me away. It left me frustrated. Ron just wasn't someone that came off as shy, and he definitely did not have a body to by shy about.

But if he didn't want to do anything then I was fine with that. I didn't want to lose him. And if anyone, even Voldemort, came between that, I was going to kill them. Simple.

When Fred and George came to Hogsmeade yesterday I was curious as to what Fred and Ron had talked about. George and I had talked about Ron. I was obsessed, I had to know why he was so shy.

George had laughed at the idea. Ron, shy? He didn't know. So that meant it was only me he was shy around.

I looked over at Ron as he slept. It was early in the morning, probably around 2 o' clock. There was a horrifically loud thunder storm going on outside and I was unable to sleep, but it seemed like everyone else was.

As quietly as possible I climbed out of my bed and knelt beside Ron's, trying to gently wake him up by pulling the covers off him. It was one of his habits. To always sleep with a blanket, no matter what the weather was. And at this point it was freezing in the room so the second the blanket was off him he was awake.

"What are you doing?" He muttered, grabbing the blanket back.

"Can't sleep," I said, crawling into his bed, I had already crossed the line but I didn't care, I wanted to see how far he would go this time.

"Why not?" he whispered as I closed the hangings around the bed, but anyone who woke up and saw my bed empty would probably make the right assumption.

"Too loud," I replied, laying down next to him.

One of his hands had already found mine and I was glad he hadn't asked me to leave.

* * *

We never fell asleep and only realized the time when we heard Seamus, Dean, and Neville wake up. Ron looked over at me.

"Hermione will kill us if we fall asleep now," I whispered, sitting up.

"No…" He muttered, pushing me back down and burying his face into my neck.

"But we have class."

He didn't say anything. I'd never been so comfortable in my life and we both laid there for several minutes. Or longer. I fell into the middle of being asleep and being slightly awake. Seamus and Dean several times tried getting us out of bed. But neither of them had the authority Hermione did.

"Get out of that bed right now," she snapped, opening the hangings.

She wasn't embarrassed to see us like that but was probably unaware of the fact that neither of us were wearing anything underneath the blanket. Ron groaned and didn't move.

"We all have to be to Defense Against the Dark Arts in twenty minutes," Hermione continued, opening Ron's trunk and pulling clothes out, she set his uniform on the bed and then went over to my trunk.

Ron lifted his head and then rested it on my shoulder.

"I'm not going to that class," he said firmly.

Hermione stared at the both of us for a moment and then said,

"When I come back here after Lupin's class, I want you both to be ready, if you're not I won't check over your homework for a month."

"Does that mean you won't do it either?" Ron asked, and I choked back a laugh.

"Precisely," Hermione replied, then she turned and left.

"Well that gives us about two hours," I muttered, sinking back down into the pillow.

We didn't fall asleep although we both laid there with our eyes closed for a long time. When we finally started to get dressed I needed to ask,

"Why today?"

Ron, who was tying his tie at this point, stopped and looked over at me. He then looked away again and said,

"Because I didn't want it to feel wrong anymore."

The silence consumed us. Hermione walked in minutes later and was happy to find that we had finally gotten out of bed. Ron and I followed her out the door. He offered me a smile which I returned gladly.

* * *

**Review, tell me why you love it.**


	4. I Can Tell Him I Forced You

_The way I broke your heart very literally  
This ghost haunts me more than it should be  
I'm not gonna walk away or turn my head in shame  
I never thought it could kill me_

**-"With Me Tonight" The Used**

* * *

(Ron's P.O.V)

Days passed after that. And day after day I continuously tried sorting out my feelings. I had stronger connections toward Harry but the more I felt connected to him the more I wanted something from someone else. Someone different. I didn't know what was going on. I wrote to Fred and explained it, but he hadn't written back yet. I doubted he would even be able to understand what I was trying to explain.

On a day I had tripped on the staircase as it moved I hurt my ankle. It wasn't so bad that I had to go to the Hospital Wing but I set Harry in charge of practice that evening so I could rest it.

I was bored. Hermione had brought me my homework before Harry and Dean left. Seamus was an alternate Beater. We were both in the room so he could keep me company. He was across my bed in his own and we were both pretending to do our work.

"Fuck this," he finally said.

I looked up from the book I hadn't been reading, a quidditch magazine hidden inside it. Seamus had set his quill down and looked at me.

"I'm bored," he continued, "I'm so bored my mind is numb."

I grinned.

"How's your ankle?" he asked me.

I shrugged.

"Still hurts but not as bad as it did earlier," I replied.

"Oh. So did you and Harry actually sleep together?"

"How did we get from ankles to sex?"

"I'm just wondering."

"Yeah."

"Oh. I thought so."

Awkward silence. I watched him reach under his bed and pull out a bottle of Firewhisky.

"Want one?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied, shoving the homework off my bed to get it off my mind. I would be worried about Hermione checking on me to see if I was doing it but she had already came up a few minutes ago.

Seamus pulled out another one and walked it over to me. He bent down and picked up the quidditch magazine and then sat on the end of my bed, sipping at the Firewhisky. He then tossed it back to the floor and said,

"How did you know you were gay?"

"Do you think you might be?"

He lifted one shoulder and then lowered it. He didn't know.

"I don't know," I said, "After a few years my interest for girls died down. The last time I was interested in a girl was 4th year with Fleur. But it didn't count since she was part veela."

"Who was the first guy you were interested in?" he asked me curiously.

I shrugged and took a large drink of the alcohol. It made me feel lazy and warm. I glanced out the window and could see in the far distance my team flying around.

"Harry?" Seamus suggested.

"No," I replied quickly, "I mean…we were too good of friends. I never really looked at him like that until he knew I was gay and said he thought he might be. I thought a lot of guys in my year were good looking but was never seriously attracted to any."

"I might be," he said quietly, transferring the bottle from one hand to the other, "I mean…it might just be on my mind since you came out recently-"

"Four months ago."

"Well yeah but…it got me thinking. I might be gay. Or I might be bi."

He stared at me for a moment. It wasn't long before his slow descent on me had closed the space between us entirely. One of my hands still held the bottle of Firewhisky lazily and the other was hooked around his neck. He was different than kissing Harry. Who, although was demanding, was rather soft. Seamus wasn't, but not in a bad way.

I didn't count the time of the actual make-out. But rather the seconds between the time he had gone from my lips, to my neck, and setting the Firewhisky on my nightstand to unbutton my shirt. All the sane thoughts had completely left my head. Including the time, which included Harry returning from quidditch practice, and Hermione's clock-work check ups on me. By the time I heard the door open, both Firewhisky's were on my nightstand. Both shirts unbuttoned. The first sane thought that popped into my head the moment I heard the door open was 'shit'.

Seamus looked over. A numb feeling crept inside me. I couldn't look over. But the door shut and I heard Seamus swear under his breath as he crawled off me and out of the bed.

"Do I want to know?" I asked quietly.

He buttoned his shirt slowly and then looked over at me.

"Harry," he replied, "Ron I'm so sorry…I didn't…I wasn't thinking. At all."

Despite the pain in my ankle, I tucked my knees up to my chest and covered my face with my hands.

Stupid.

No other way to describe it. Stupid.

"Neither was I," I finally said, uncovering my face and resting my chin on my knees. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Harry's thoughts as he walked into the room and saw his own boyfriend cheating on him.

"I can tell him I forced you," Seamus suggested, going back to his own bed.

The idea was appealing but if Harry heard something like that he would probably hex Seamus into another dimension.

"No," I said, opening my eyes, "No, we both enjoyed it."

He hid a smile. Carefully I climbed out of my bed. My ankle begged me to not walk but I did towards the door, buttoning my shirt. The farther I walked, the more numb my body felt. I limped out the door and to the top of the stairs. I hid in the shadows momentarily and searched for Harry. He was sitting at a table with Hermione and Ginny. I could tell from here that he was upset, but Hermione and Ginny looked indifferent. He hadn't told them. If he had, Ginny would have been up here kicking my ass.

I stayed in the shadows for about ten minutes. Hermione and Ginny went into the girls dorms. I waited longer. Slowly the population in the common room thinned out and I felt safe.

Harry's back was toward the stairs. I was glad.

As I carefully limped down the stairs I realized I didn't know what to say to him. I paused halfway down. Moments later I watched him gather his things and then stand up and turn around. Neither of us spoke as he saw me. And he didn't move. We both stood there silently. I wanted to tell him that I would take it all back if I could, but my brain had somehow detached itself from my vocal cords.

Finally Harry just turned back around and left the common room. I sat down where I was on the staircase. I heard someone behind me but by now I felt so horrible that I couldn't move. It was Ginny. She sat down next to me.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I cheated on Harry and now on top of feeling like a man-whore because it took me so long to sleep with him and I was about ten seconds away to screwing Seamus, I probably don't have a boyfriend.

I didn't say that, but that's what was wrong.

"Did you and Harry have a fight?"

No.

"Ron…what happened?"

Finally it came out.

"He saw me and Seamus together," I muttered.

"You cheated on him?" she exclaimed.

"Not really," I replied, "We were just kissing. And stuff. He didn't know if he was gay or not."

"Well I'm pretty sure he is now," Ginny said in an accusing tone.

I refrained from telling her I took that as a compliment. Now really wasn't a time for jokes but although most of me felt horrible about what had happened, the other part was still on a high from the excitement.

"So what are you going to do?" she asked.

* * *

**Mmm. Ron/Seamus.**

**Anywho...review. And don't just say "love it" etc. Tell me WHY so I can write more.**


	5. He's Not Going To Cry For Me

_Just let me make some time to take it back a little  
The way you smile shines the heavens above me  
Never going to let you go, I want you all the time  
I gotta prove you can trust me_

**-"With Me Tonight" The Used**

* * *

(Harry's P.O.V)

I knew he was sorry.

I just wanted to know if he was sincerely sorry for what he had done or sorry that he had been caught. With Ron I never really knew. What I did know was that he may not have loved me but I never thought he would go as far as to cheat on me.

And I had seen the look on his face before he turned away and failed to see who had walked in the room. He liked it.

He had the grace to come downstairs and…say whatever he was going to say. But I walked away before he could say anything. I didn't go anywhere. I just walked. For a long time. When I came back I saw that he had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the fire. Either waiting for me, or too scared to sleep in the dorm that night. Half of me wanted to wake him up so I could yell at him, and the other half of me wanted to wake him up so I could hug him and tell him I forgave him.

I didn't do either. I just went upstairs and into the dorm. All the guys were awake, Dean and Neville talking, and Seamus laying in bed looking like he wanted to run away from the moment I walked into the room. I ignored him, but noticed that either he or Ron had moved the two bottles of Firewhisky from Ron's nightstand. Those are what I had seen before anything, and I didn't know why.

I ignored Ron for a few days. Hermione was worried, and Ginny seemed set on making us speak. Seamus seemed just as big of a wreck as Ron and I did. And finally he confronted me.

"Why don't you come back at night?" he asked.

I lowered my gaze from his and then looked back up. I hadn't slept since the night I had caught them together, so I spent most of my time out on the quidditch pitch.

"Can't sleep," I finally said, watching other students walk past us without a single one of them looking at us.

"Oh," Seamus said, "Well…both of us are really sorry. It wasn't really him. More me. I was the one that started it."

"And you're the one that undid your shirt?"

I spoke before thinking.

"No. I mean, I know this doesn't help," he said with a sigh, "But we did both enjoy it. But-"

I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm and forced me to stay there.

"He cries," he said simply, "Did you know that? Every night that you haven't come back he cries because he feels so bad. Harry, we don't have any feelings for each other at all. He's not going to cry for me the night I don't come back."

Shit.

Ron was really crying a lot this year.

Seamus walked off. I made a quick decision to find Ron. He wouldn't be at our next class since it was Defense Against the Dark Arts and he refused to ever step into that classroom again.

I went to the Gryffindor common room first and was gad that was my first assumption. Ron sat on the same couch he had fallen asleep on a few days ago. He looked in my direction when he heard the portrait open and close. When he saw me he looked away again.

"Wanna talk?" I asked.

He didn't say anything. I walked over and sat down next to him.

"Seamus talked to me," I told him.

He looked over and I continued talking,

"Ron…I was never really mad at you. I just got confused. I mean I was kind of mad, and kind of depressed, but more confused than anything."

"I'm still sorry," he said, and his tone showed that he was unconvinced by what I had just said, "Really."

"I know," I replied truthfully, then paused and said, "Seamus said you cried when I stopped coming back."

Ron turned red, obviously embarrassed by the fact that I knew that.

"And he said," I continued, scooting closer to him, "That you would never cry for him. You two haven't got feelings for each other, do you?"

"Of course not," Ron replied simply. I believed him.

I went to kiss him but he turned away quickly. I knew the tears before they came.

"What?" I asked, but trying not to sound harsh.

"You're so amazing," he said, not looking at me and instead at the floor, "To take somebody back like that."

"But you're my somebody."

"Can you be any more corny?" Ron laughed through his tears.

"Can you?" I replied, laughing as well.

"Probably." He looked up finally and wiped his face with the sleeve of his cloak.

"Anyway…" I leaned in and kissed him. It was quick but worth it.

Winter came. Quidditch season ended. Ron and Seamus were just friends. One dreary morning came, Hermione woke us up ad ordered us to start packing since we hadn't done it last night. Too busy with…other activities.

We would be leaving for the train that afternoon to go to the Burrow. Ron had been worrying all week about telling his parents. He said he'd be fine as long as I was there, and the Twins, who just made everything a little less stressful in situations where they needed to be good brothers and not brothers that set off mini-fireworks under the covers of your bed while you were sleeping.

"I can't do this," he muttered in the middle of folding a shirt to put into his trunk.

"You've been folding clothes all morning," I replied.

"Not that!" he exclaimed, throwing the shirt at me, "I can't tell my parents. I'm sorry, I just can't."

"It'll be fine. Parents love you unconditionally."

Ron snorted and continued packing, not looking in my direction. I threw the shirt back at him and said,

"Ron, you have amazing parents. They're going to love you whether or not your straight."

The train ride there consisted of Ron's constant fidgeting because of his nerves. Hermione and Ginny shared another compartment so he and I could be alone one last time before being in a full house.

"Would you calm down?" I finally snapped in a tone harsher than I expected. I immediately felt bad for using a tone like that but was glad that Ron stopped fidgeting.

He pouted for a while but I put his pouting lips to better use a few minutes before we arrived at Platform 9 ¾. Because his parents were too busy doing Ministry work, Fred and George were there to pick us up.

Fred pulled Ron aside for a moment to talk to him but then the rejoined the group and we left.

I was glad to enter the chaotic world of the Weasley household. Since the parents were gone, the older brothers took the liberty of terrorizing each other playfully. And once I saw Ron and Bill in the same room I immediately saw a scary resemblance between the two. They were both the same height with the same facial features and the same body build. The only two differences seemed to be that Bill had soft brown eyes while Ron had deep blue eyes, and Bill had long hair while Ron's was only now collar length.

"Don't stare at me," Bill said with a laugh, cuffing me on the shoulder, "Ron might get jealous."

So the twins _had_ told Bill and Charlie.

"I'm sorry," I said while Ron also laughed, "It's just that you two look so similar."

"I know," Bill replied, linking an arm around Ron's shoulders, "Except Ron's got the only blue eyes in the family."

I smiled.

The chaos in the house only got worse. I loved it. Fred and George had managed to unlock the magically locked cupboard of alcohol and brought a large bottle of Firewhisky into the living room where everyone sat in a large circle around the coffee table and we played drink or dare.

"Ron," George said after he had taken a drink instead of making out with me which hadn't blown over quite well between Ron and Bill (who was always on Ron's side, I found), "I dare you to let Bill pierce your ear."

"Okay," Ron said simply, smiling.

"Awesome," Bill said, standing to get what he would need.

Ron shrugged with a grin and we all waited for Bill to come back. When he did he instructed Ron to lay on the couch so he'd be more relaxed. I stood behind the couch, leaning onto the back of it to watch. Fred, George, and Charlie all stood nearby. Ginny and Hermione stood almost close but not as much as the rest of us did.

"Sure you want to?" Bill asked, handing Ron an ice cube to hold against his earlobe. Ron was grinning, yeah, we wanted to. I laughed for no reason. I'd probably drank more than I had accepted any dares.

Bill told me to light a match while he took a small diamond stud out of his pocket. I handed him the match and he trailed the flame along a needle.

"Um," I said, suddenly getting nervous, "We're magic. Isn't there any other way?"

"Mum's gonna be pissed," George told Ron, grinning.

He just smiled.

"Okay," Bill said, "When I count to three, move the ice."

I could see the nervousness finally flicker in Ron's eyes.

"One."

I took Ron's hand quickly.

"Two."

I closed my eyes.

"Three."

"Oh you're so in trouble now."

* * *

**Review. Tell me WHY you love it.  
I enjoy reading that more than "i love it"  
I want to know why.**


	6. The Stairs Are Loud

(Ron's P.O.V)

I reached up to my ear. The pain hadn't been that bad. Bill had been quick about it and the moment the needle left my ear, the earring went in. And it was done. Easy.

When I brought my hand back down there was a little blood on my fingertips but not much. Bill handed me a tissue that he had grabbed along with the other supplies, I took it and held it to my ear.

Harry had let go of my hand and opened his eyes.

"Okay?" I asked.

"Mhmm," he said, "Did it hurt?"

"Not as much as I thought it would."

"Good."

"Awww," Fred said in a cheesy voice.

I rolled my eyes and said,

"Oh good, its my turn now."

The excitement over the piercing died down and the game continued until the bottle of Firewhisky was gone. I didn't notice the girls had left until the room was completely silent. Harry and I were sitting on the couch, me leaning back against his chest, one of his arms resting over my knee that was tucked up against my own chest.

"You two are so cuuute," crooned George teasingly, and I just laughed and shook my head. I was too comfortable to really care about what anyone said. I wanted to fall asleep, but falling asleep in the same room as my brothers while they're awake isn't the best idea in the world.

Along with that, the idea of falling asleep left my head when the cracking sound of someone arriving through Apparation was heard in the kitchen. My parents. I quickly slid to the other side of the couch, not wanting them to find out about anything that way.

Fred quickly hid the bottle of Firewhisky under the cushion of the chair he had been sitting next to just as my parents walked through the door into the living room.

After much hugging hello and asking how the school year was going, Harry and I finally headed up to my room.

"You going to tell them?" he asked me, the moment the door was shut.

No.

"Maybe later," I said, falling backwards onto my bed, exhausted and not really knowing why.

"Because it's going to be weird," Harry said, laying down next to me on his stomach, "Having to be so careful."

"Not really," I replied, "The stairs are loud."

"Ron…"

"No, really-"

"Ron, you need to tell them today."

"But I don't want to," I muttered, turning away from him.

One of his arms linked around my waist and he pulled me against him.

"Please?" he begged, "You said the relationship wouldn't work for you unless the whole school knew. Well now they do. I did that for you. And this won't work for me unless your parents know. Can't you do that for me?"

Even though he had a point, I still didn't want to tell my parents. I kept thinking they would be ashamed of me, or disappointed, or something.

"And Fred said that he would be there," Harry continued, "To help. Ron the more you don't do it the more you're going to think about it and the more worried you're going to get. Do it now, and no matter what they're reaction is, it's going to be done."

Finally, and I can't even remember how or when, I agreed to go tell them. I remember walking down the stairs, but I don't remember how I ended up at the kitchen table with Fred on one side of me, and Harry on the other, with my parents sitting across from me.

"Um…" I said slowly, not looking at them, but I knew my mum probably looked worried, and my dad looked worried and curious. Possibly a little bit confused.

"Go on," Fred urged.

"I can't," I finally muttered. This was wrong. I couldn't do it.

"I'm not going to tell them for you, Ron."

Damn.

"Uh…" I tried again, "Okay." I looked up, "There's just…something I've been hiding from you since this summer." They looked shocked. "Because It's so hard for me to tell you. I don't want you to be…disappointed in my or ashamed of me or something." I kept going so they wouldn't say anything, "I'm…gay."

At this point I wanted to go completely deaf. Although I really wanted to hear what they had to say, I really didn't. But thankfully my parents were amazing, and they knew how to respond to every child depending on what they had to say.

"Is that all?" my mum asked gently.

"Yeah," I said, "Well no…" I added quickly with a side glance at Harry.

"Ron has a boyfriend," Fred said eagerly, "Three guesses who, but the first two don't count."

Thankfully at this point my parents laughed. I was glad they hadn't said more. My mum finally said she was happy for us, and my dad said he was glad we hadn't kept it a secret any longer. And nothing I could do would make them ashamed of me.

"I told you," Harry muttered.

"No you didn't."

"No but I did say parents love you unconditionally, didn't I?"

I smiled, and then heard my mothers voice ask,

"Ronald Weasley is that an earring?"

* * *

**Okay I have a question, when you upload a document what are those little numbers at the bottom of the page when you go to edit it? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?**

**Anyway,  
Review, and once again, tell me WHY you like it or love it or whatever.  
I know this one was really short but it had to be done.**


	7. At Least the Turkey Is Okay

(Harry's P.O.V)

A week before Christmas, Ron and I were in his room. Under the covers, fully clothed I might add, talking. It was late at night and extremely cold. Ron's parents, and Bill and Charlie, were downstairs in the kitchen talking. We could hear them through Ron's vent.

"Will you promise me something?" he asked quietly, staring up at me.

"What?" I asked, listening for footsteps in the hallway so if I heard them I could go back to my bed. Even though everyone knew Ron and I were together, it was still weird for them to see us like this.

"Don't get me anything for Christmas, okay?" he asked.

"Why not?" I asked, I honestly hadn't even thought about that.

"I know I put on a show about enjoying gifts but its really awkward to get things from other people," he replied, also being quiet and listening for footsteps, Fred and George couldn't be trusted, "So don't get me anything."

"Okay. I won't get you anything if you don't get me anything," I responded, "Trust me, its just as awkward for me."

"Alright," he agreed.

We heard footsteps heading toward the bedroom. Quietly I slid out of Ron's bed and into my own which had been placed inches away from Ron's so that I wouldn't have to walk across the floor and be heard. I tucked my glasses under the bed so they wouldn't be stepped on and the both of us pretended to be asleep. The door opened and I could tell by the footsteps that either Bill or Charlie had been sent to check on us.

Moments later the door shut again. Neither Ron or I spoke, because once we pretended to be asleep, we realized how tired we really were.

* * *

Christmas arrived in Weasley chaos. Ron and I were told to set the table with the silverware while Fred and George were to set the table with the food. With the four of us in one room with breakable objects and sharp objects, not much happened except for accident after accident.

Fred had grabbed a pot of potatoes and turned around, walking right into Ron, dropped the potatoes, Ron stepped back into George who dropped the plate of vegetables onto the edge of a plate on the table. The plate went flying into the air and no one attempted to catch it, therefore falling onto the floor and shattering into several pieces. I had yet to discover the fallen bowl of potatoes and tripped over them while holding another plate which also shattered on the floor.

Soon the kitchen was full of the rest of the family who had come to see what happened. The mess was easily cleaned up by Mrs. Weasley while Ron helped me up.

"At least the turkey is okay," he said happily.

The rest of the day went by loudly, but smoothly. The presents were opened after dinner, the messes were cleared, and Fred, George, Ron, and I went out to the backyard and had a rather painful snowball fight that ended in Ron and Fred against me and George. Finally we all collapsed into the knee-length snow and talked.

"How come you two didn't get each other presents?" George asked.

"Didn't want them," Ron replied before I could say anything, looking over at me, "We promised we wouldn't get them for each other."

"You're weird," Fred said after a pause, and he laughed.

I did as well, and realized just how soaked I was when I looked down at myself. The four of us had pretty much all worn jeans, t-shirts, and thin jackets. We hadn't really planned well, we had just wandered outside and ended up attacking each other.

Finally we all agreed to head back and by the time we were at the house we were pretty much frozen.

The mail was there when we arrived and there was a letter for me and Ron from Seamus, who had stayed at the castle for Christmas that year. Ron and I headed upstairs to his room before opening the letter so that we could change out of our wet clothes. I changed while Ron read the letter and then he said,

"Seamus says we should go back to the castle on New Years for a party he's throwing in the Prefects lounge."

"How are we going to get back to the school?" I asked, grabbing a clean pair of pants from my trunk and pulling them on, "The train doesn't come back to the platform until the fifth of January."

"We can Floo," he suggested, tossing the letter onto his bed and pulling out clean clothes from his dresser.

"Ron…"

"I mean, Sirius might be able to get Lupin to let us Floo to the fireplace in his office."

"Oh…right…I'll ask him. Give me some parchment and stuff."

* * *

When Ginny heard about the party she told Ron and I that she was going with us, and Hermione came as well, so that we could all just stay at the castle until school started up again.

Getting Sirius to ask Lupin to let us use the Floo network to get back to the castle only took a day, and we all started to pack so that when the day came, we wouldn't have to do it last minute, like Ron and I had wanted to.

The night before we left was a day full of cleaning. Mostly taking decorations down and packing them back up until they were needed for the following year. Ron managed to escape from his mother who was looking for him to tell him to clean his room before he left. I had no idea where he escaped to until I was told to take a box out to the barn where most of the boxes were stored.

"There you are," I said as a fistful of hay was dropped on top of me, causing me to look up at see Ron in the hayloft, "Everyone's looking for you."

"So?" he asked as I climbed the ladder to meet him up there.

"I was just letting you know," I replied.

"Ah." He laid back down onto the pile of hay and then laughed, "You've got hay all over your hair."

"Thanks to you," I said, brushing it out with my hand.

"At least it smells good."

"Yeah."

"How many people do you think will be there?" he asked me, propping himself up onto his elbows while I sat down in front of him.

"I don't know," I replied, "Probably all the Gryffindors in our year. Maybe some people from other houses. I really don't know. Did he say who he was inviting?"

"He said lots of people."

"Well then there will be lots of people there."

Ron thought for a moment, he honestly looked the cutest when he was lost in thought. I wasn't really sure what he was thinking about at the moment but I hoped he would think for a long time. He didn't.

Fred and George appeared next to us with a loud cracking noise.

"I'm sick of cleaning," they said in unison.

"Us too," Ron replied, "So are you guys going to come back to the castle for the party?"

"Probably," said George, "You can't have a party without us. That's just…not right."

We stayed there and talked for quite a long time. We didn't realize how long until the barn began to grow darker and darker, and we eventually went back inside.

* * *

"Who else is coming?"

Ron and I had just Flooed to Lupin's office and stepped out of the smoke, dragging our trunks behind us.

"Hermione, Ginny, Fred, and George," I replied, so Ron wouldn't have to, "Fred and George are only staying for tonight and then heading back in the morning. If that's okay."

Lupin nodded. Hermione and Ginny arrived next. And then Fred and George. We thanked Lupin, and then left, heading back toward the Gryffindor Tower.

"Wow," Fred said, "Haven't been here in a year. It looks…the same."

"No kidding," Ron responded with a laugh, "Wait 'til you see the dorms, those haven't changed either."

"Can't wait," George put in.

We all laughed and made our way up several staircases and made it to the portrait. Fred and George had to convince the Fat Lady that they had special permission to be there from Dumbledore (which they did) and she finally let us in. Fred, George, Ron, and I all went to the boys dorm to get ready while the girls both did the same thing in the girls dorm.

"Hey guys," Seamus greeted us when we walked in, "Hi!" he exclaimed after seeing Fred and George, "You came for the party?"

"Yeah," they replied in unison, grinning.

"Great!" Dean exclaimed, "This will be fantastic."

Ron and I smiled at each other in agreement. We both changed clothes and by the time we did, there was still a half an hour before we wanted to leave, which was a half an hour after the party had started. Seamus, Dean, and Neville had already left to get things ready. Fred and George had gone with them, discussing some of the fireworks they had brought.

"Alone or the first time since we went back home," Ron said happily.

"No kidding," I replied as he grabbed me and pulled me backwards onto his bed. It was the first time he had ever started anything like that and made me wonder what had gotten into him for a moment before I relaxed. And then,

"Wait," I said quickly, "Oh never mind."

"What?" he asked.

"Well I was going to say that Hermione and Ginny might walk in on us but they're girls, they won't be ready for another hour."

"Exactly."

* * *

**If you took the time to read, take the time to review. And again, tell me WHY you liked it. Please, it helps.**


	8. Am I Anyone's Favorite?

(Ginny's P.O.V)

I was walking through groups of people searching for Harry. I had seen Ron standing with Fred, George, Dean, and Seamus minutes ago and was surprised to not see him with his own boyfriend.

The music over the hour seemed to get louder and louder, and the party more chaotic. There were empty Firewhisky bottles everywhere, and half empty ones as well. I carried my own with me and was careful not to set it down anywhere. Having fun with all my friends that were there, I had already had two before this one. Although I told Hermione and Ron that the one I was holding was my first.

Finally I came upon Harry who was talking with Oliver Wood who had arrived upon someone's invitation. They were, of course, talking about how well the Gryffindor team was doing. Ron had managed to keep them together and they hadn't lost a game yet this year.

"Hey, Ginny," Harry greeted warmly, and Oliver nodded at me.

"Having fun?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "Just got done dancing with Zach."

"Smith?" he responded.

I nodded. Harry seemed a little perturbed, but didn't seem to mind. Oliver said he wanted to go catch up with Fred and George and he left without waiting for an answer.

"You having fun?" I asked Harry.

He nodded after a pause.

"Ron left you," I pointed out, hoping it wouldn't upset him, "I haven't seen him with you since we got here."

"Yeah, well…as long as he's having fun," Harry said simply.

As he said this I looked over his shoulder at the group Ron had been in. Fred, George, and Oliver were no longer with them, and it was only Ron, Dean, and Seamus. And it definitely seemed like Ron was having fun, wrapped up in Seamus, and moments later pulling back, laughing.

"Uh yeah," I said quickly, hoping Harry wouldn't turn around, but I had been looking in that direction for too long, and he turned around just as Ron pulled away, but he knew what had happened.

"Um…" Harry said, looking back at me, "I think I'm going to go. Tell Hermione…if she asks."

"Harry," I said gently, setting my bottle on a nearby table as he walked away, "Wait. Don't leave, he's an ass."

"Yeah well he's done it before!" Harry exclaimed, turning back around and facing me. No one looked in our direction. The music was too loud for anyone else to hear but me since I was so close to him.

"Then break up with him!" I shouted back.

"Well I can't," he said, and he said it quietly, "I just can't."

"Then ignore it and move on," I replied, "That's what he's going to do." I touched his arm lightly, "He's doing this because its fun, Harry. Going out with you. For him its just fun, he'll eventually love you…if you want to wait that long."

He said something quietly that I couldn't quite hear over the music but it was something like 'We'll see.' Beyond that was a blurry memory of his lips descending upon mine. I didn't know whether he was doing it because he really wanted to, or because he wanted Ron to be jealous. Or maybe both.

When the kiss ended, Harry walked away. I looked over at Ron. He had seen, but I didn't know if it had quite sunk in yet. He did look a bit hurt, and maybe a little angry. When he caught me watching him he looked away and continued talking with Dean and Seamus like nothing had happened.

Seconds after I, too, looked away from him, Fred and George appeared.

"What the hell was that?" Fred sputtered.

"Ron was kissing Seamus so Harry kissed me," I replied simply.

"What?" George exclaimed.

"Again?" Fred added.

"Again?" George repeated, "Why don't I know these things?"

"Because I'm Ron's favorite," Fred replied with a small smile.

"Oh right," George said with a laugh.

"Yes, again," I interrupted, "That's why Harry kissed me."

"Did Ron see?" Fred asked, taking a careful glance in our brothers direction.

"Yeah," I replied, "He saw."

"Wonder what he's gonna do about it."

"Probably nothing."

"Wonder what he'd do if he saw me with Harry," George put in with a laugh, "He's gay, he knows Harry is gay, Harry kissing you doesn't mean anything."

"Good point," Fred said, "Where is Ron's possible ex-boyfriend? Harry needs to get some form of a payback."

"You better let me kiss Harry if you still want to be Ron's favorite. By the way, am I anyone's favorite?" George asked.

"You'll be my favorite if Ron get's pissed off enough," I said, patting him on the shoulder, "Go for it. Harry's over there." I said, pointing towards Harry who was standing with Hermione.

I watched George go over there. Fred and I acted like we were just talking and only snuck glances while George talked with Harry. I looked over at Ron carefully, he was looking in there direction as well, trying to seem like he was more focused on his Firewhisky.

The third time I looked over at Harry, Hermione was gone, and he and George were kissing. Fred looked like he was trying not to laugh. I looked over at Ron. He was watching them, and so was Dean, who looked only slightly sympathetic. I couldn't decipher Ron's expression, but soon he started walking in the opposite direction and disappeared into a crowd of people.

* * *

**End scene.**

**Usual request, review.  
But this time tell me what you'd like to read in the next chapter.  
**


	9. He's Going to Grow Up

(Fred's P.O.V)

I was torn between two thoughts at the look on Ron's face after he saw George kissing Harry. One was that he deserved it, and the other was that he didn't really need it.

In the beginning I was glad Ron was with Harry. I thought Harry had known Ron, until he fell in love with him. I thought the relationship would just be something playful. If anything, I wanted to tell Harry he shouldn't be with Ron at all. Ron wasn't one to fully commit. I knew Harry was going to get hurt, and he did.

I wanted to be on Ron's side, and think Harry was an idiot for falling in love with him, but I wanted to be on Harry's side and think that Ron needed to grow up already and learn how to act in a relationship.

And then I ended up on my own side, telling myself I shouldn't get involved at all. But as I watched them tear each other apart at this party, I knew I had to come in somewhere.

Zacharias Smith asked Ginny to dance, and then I went in search of Ron. He was sitting next to the bathroom door on the floor away from the crowds and lost in his own thoughts. I knelt down in front of him and said,

"You started it."

"Fuck off."

"Do you really want me to?"

A pause.

"No."

"You deserved it, Ron."

"But why would George do that?"

"To show you how bad it really hurts."

A long silence engulfed us and for a moment, we couldn't hear the music, we couldn't hear the chatter, and we couldn't see anything else but into eachothers eyes and I knew immediately what he was going to say.

"I don't think I like him anymore," Ron said, "Not just because of this. And I'm not hurt because I saw him doing that. I'm hurt because…I wasn't hurt. I didn't really care, and once I realized that…I don't know. I mean, I know I didn't love him, but now…I'm not attracted to him at all. Maybe I never really was. Maybe you were right in the beginning. Maybe I'm attracted to the thought of being attracted to him."

I nodded.

"You gonna tell him?" I asked.

"He's been hurt enough tonight."

"Ron, you have to tell him. You're hurting him by not telling him, and you're hurting yourself by not telling him."

"But I'm not going to break up with him if I'm still confused!" he exclaimed, "I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm going insane or something."

"Trying to figure out if you're gay leads to confusion. You know who you need to talk to?"

"Who?"

"Lupin."

"But Sirius said that I was more like him in a relationship. Cause he didn't love Lupin."

I let on a slow sigh. He was hurt, confused, a little bit annoyed, possibly angry, and…well, even though I already said confused he was REALLY confused. He was my little brother. And I just wanted to make it all go away. I never thought that the little boy whose teddy bear I had turned into a spider would end up being gay, and thinking he was in love with his best friend who, on numerous occasions, saved the wizarding world with Ron's help. I couldn't wrap my head around it, and right now, Ron needed me to. I needed to be his support, I needed to be his common sense, and I couldn't do it.

"Ron…" I said, he looked at me, I stared at the floor, trying to catch myself before I cried, he'd never seen me cry before and right now wasn't the time, "Ron…I'm sorry. I…I really don't know what to do for you. This is something you need to handle on your own. I can't get inside your head and figure out whether or not you love Harry, or whether you're gay at all. I've tried helping you, I've tried everything I could to try and help you figure this out. I'd love to keep helping you but I don't even know if I'm helping or making it worse."

I straightened, and he stood as well.

"Are you leaving?" he asked.

Another pause. I turned away from him and pressed my palms to my eyes for a moment. Then I lowered my hands and turned back towards him.

"Yeah. I'm going to get George and see if Lupin's in his office. If he is, we'll leave."

And that's what I did. George was by the door when I found him, I wasn't surprised, reading senses and ideas was something that happened a lot between us. By the time We had stepped out of the portrait I was crying. He stopped me from walking and gave me a hug and said,

"You won't always be able to help him, he's going to grow up sooner or later. He's got to start figuring things out on his own."

* * *

**I'm sorry its so short but it had to be written.  
I needed a good brother moment and ended up with two I guess.**


	10. You'll Still Be My Friend

(Ron's P.O.V)

When I saw Fred leave, all the sanity I had (which wasn't much) left me. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. He had helped me stay in this relationship…yet I knew he wanted me to leave Harry, just to see how I would feel. I knew the kiss between Harry and George hadn't meant much, he was doing it to see how jealous I would get. I didn't. I felt confused because I hadn't felt any sort of hurt or jealousy at all.

I knew I had to dump Harry, but I didn't want to. Having him made me feel secure. And without him and Fred in my life, I'd be empty. Harry filled a space inside me, but it wasn't love, it was the happiness. For me, being happy and being in love were different. People didn't get that. They mistook my happiness with Harry for love. They often mistook my love for quidditch with happiness in playing it. People didn't get it. That made it hard.

I left the party as it struck midnight. Everyone was cheering and going crazy. I walked through it all in a blur. I felt like everything was happening in slow motion. My head felt like it was going to explode, and I felt like I was going to throw up my heart.

Once outside the Prefects Lounge I stepped onto a staircase and sat down. I couldn't make it any further. I was too sad to cry or scream, both of which I wanted to do. I didn't notice it until I heard footsteps behind me, but my breathing had sped up and I probably was hyperventilating.

"Are you okay?"

I didn't turn around but did try to catch my breath. The person, whoever he was, sat down next to me. I didn't turn in his direction but he placed a hand on my back.

"Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

I shook my head slowly. His voice sounded familiar but I wasn't sure just how much I could trust my judgment or any assumptions at the moment. When I finally turned to look I saw that it was Dean.

"I followed you out," he admitted, "You didn't look well. I'm kind of worried."

And before I could process any thoughts, everything spilled out. From what had happened that summer, to telling Harry, to finding out he was gay, to thinking I was in love with him, to not being so sure, and Fred being my support and then walking out on me, leaving me to figure out everything for myself. By the time I finished telling him, I felt some of the weight leave my shoulders.

"Wow," said Dean, "That's a lot of shit on you, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"So you're going to break up with Harry?" he asked me.

"Probably," I replied, "I don't want to hurt him anymore, and even though breaking up with him is hurting him…he won't love me anymore."

Dean nodded. I knew he probably didn't quite understand, but saying these things out loud made them easier to understand for me.

"Wanna go back to the common room?" he asked.

"Yeah, okay," I responded.

We walked quietly for a while and a question that had been burning inside me for quite some time finally popped out,

"Did you know Seamus was bi?"

"Well yeah. He's my best friend. Of course I knew, I've known since fourth year since he first had thoughts about it."

"Oh…what about you?"

Dean laughed for a moment, then paused and said,

"I'm straight, trust me. I've kissed Seamus a few times but I'm straight because those few times were when I was drunk."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Everyone seems to be turning gay or bi at the moment so I just wanted to know."

"Would you consider going out with Seamus?"

"No."

"Oh."

We arrived at the portrait and Dean said the password after we waited for the Fat Lady to fully awake. The first and second years that had stayed up late saw us and scampered up the stairs quickly. We followed them to head into our own dorm.

I fell asleep more quickly than I assumed I would, but awoke when the door was opened and Harry and Seamus walked in quietly. I listened to them whisper for a while, then they both got in their beds without changing. I would have broken up with Harry that night (early morning, really) but I was too tired and too scared.

The following day, we all slept in until Hermione came in and made Harry and I get up to do our homework that we had to finish before classes started again. She had no idea what had happened at the party, because I knew I didn't tell her, and Ginny probably hadn't told her, and I wasn't sure whether or not Harry told her but I was sure he hadn't.

Thankfully, Hermione stayed in the room until I had changed and we all went to the common room. Harry and I sat acrossed each other at the table and avoided eye contact. Hermione noticed, but didn't question it. We all worked quietly and took a break to go to lunch. I sat with Dean and Seamus, who both asked me if Harry and I had broke up yet, I told them no.

The rest of the day went by too slowly. And finally I got the nerve to ask Harry if I could talk to him. We were bringing our finished assignments upstairs, and Dean, Seamus, and Neville were all downstairs doing their homework.

Harry stood, waiting for my to speak.

"Well…" I said slowly, staring at the floor, one hand shoved in my pocket and the other brushing my hair out of my eyes, "I can't…do this anymore." I finally looked at him, his expression was still blank but he was listening, "I can't pretend to like you. It's hurting you, and its hurting me. You're too good of a friend to be anything more to me. I'm not breaking up with you because I like someone else. I'm just sick of all this pretending and shit."

"You're not doing this because you like someone else?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"You might see me be with other guys, but I probably don't like them," I said truthfully, "Like Seamus. We were just doing it because it was fun."

A long silence followed that statement. Harry and I stared at each other for about a minute. It seemed like forever.

"Well," he said finally, "At least you won't be pretending anymore."

"You'll still be my friend, right?"

* * *

**PLEASE read the updates on my page! They're important.**

**Also review.**


	11. I Loved You

(Harry's P.O.V)

Ron had no self-confidence. He walked and talked like he did, but he didn't. He didn't stay with me because he didn't think he loved me. He was saving me and himself from being hurt.

"Of course I'll still be you're friend," I said simply, "This just didn't work out, is all."

He nodded.

* * *

When classes started up again, Ron was often found with another guy each week. It was quite odd to see him with guys who claimed they were straight, of course…most of them probably were, and were just having fun. It seemed as though that was what a lot of people were doing nowadays. Doing out of the ordinary things for fun.

Once I actually saw him with Draco Malfoy, that lasted about three class periods, then Ron was with Blaise Zabini until dinner, and then Ron spent the last of his day with Hermione and I, where he told us to not even ask what he had been thinking. I just smiled and shook my head. Inside, I did know how Ron could find both of them attractive, though.

Clearly, Ron was more comfortable going through guys instead of staying with just one. But there seemed to be more to it. I knew there was something in him that made him not able to stick with one person. Not just the fact that he had no self-confidence. There was just more. And I wanted to know what. I needed to talk to him.

He had practice scheduled for that night. The team went through some basic drills, and then we all put the equipment back, and Ron and I headed into the locker rooms while the rest of the team went to dinner. I had told him I needed to talk to him, and this would be the only time I could do it.

"We aren't…_talking_, right?" Ron asked after I shut the door behind myself, "Like about our relationship? I don't do that." He tossed his broom to the floor and leaned against a row of lockers, "It's awkward."

"No. I want to talk about you," I replied simply, "Why can't you stick with one guy?"

He shrugged.

"I'm serious, Ron," I said, "Why can't you stay committed? I'm the longest relationship you had. You said you didn't see me as anything more than a friend. Well what about all those other guys? The ones that aren't even gay? The ones who never were your friends or even acquaintances?"

"I don't know," he snapped, shoving his hands into his pockets, "Why does it even matter? You don't have to worry about me."

"Well I do," I replied, "You're my friend. And my first true relationship. There's no way I couldn't worry."

"I don't…" he muttered, looking away from me and taking a few steps forward, "I don't want to commit myself to someone. Then I might actually start to like them."

A strong gust of wind blew the door open. We both jumped, but neither of us went to shut it.

"What's wrong with actually liking someone?" I demanded, "I loved you. What was wrong with that?"

"But…we're…" he looked up and finished with, "Gay."

"No kidding," I replied harshly.

"We can't have kids. Even the illegal spell to make someone pregnant doesn't work on guys," Ron responded, "I'm mad at myself for being gay. I want a family. It can't happen, can it?"

"So you don't want to like someone so you won't get married?" I concluded, "Ron, you can adopt."

"But those are someone else's kids!" he exclaimed. By now I knew this was so much deeper. Something was wrong. He was getting too touchy.

"Someone else's kids that no one wanted," I replied, grabbing his arm, "Ron, what's wrong? Really?"

"Nothing!" he shouted angrily, "I don't want to be gay. But I can't stop myself, can I? And I don't want someone else's kids."

"But they're kids no one wanted. It's wrong not to take them. Even if I wasn't gay I'd probably adopt children anyway."

The door we hadn't shut slammed against the wall again. Ron and I stared at each other.

"Well Ron you have no choice," I said finally, to end the silence, "You're gay. You want a family. If you get married to m-…someone…you'll have to adopt if you want a family."

He lowered his gaze.

"Let's go inside," I said gently, grabbing his arm more carefully than I had earlier.

He allowed me to lead him through the rain and to the castle. We walked up the steps toward the doors, both of us very silent in thought. Ron pulled his arm away from me and we both looked at each other.

The moment Ron leaned in and kissed me, a flash of lightning was followed by a loud rumbling of thunder. They seemed to be reminding me that I was just going to get hurt again if I allowed Ron to do this. I didn't care. He was back, kissing me, and that was all that mattered at the moment.

Three more flashes of lightning and loud crashes of thunder came and went before we both pulled away laughing weakly. Ron didn't look at me before walking into the castle. But when he did eventually look at me he smiled lightly and didn't turn away before the smile was returned.

* * *

**Sorry for super slow update :(  
More Ron and Harry goodness, yay.  
Please review.**


	12. I'm Trying to Grow Up

(Ron's P.O.V)

Good Lord what was I doing?

I found myself waking up in Harry's bed the morning following my tirade against not being able to have my own family. I was glad to see that I was still wearing boxers and the memories flooded back. He had wanted to go farther but I stopped him.

"Ron…" I heard Dean's voice say gently, "Harry…Ginny sent me up here to wake you guys up. Hermione was going to come up but is looking over your homework."

"Tell them we died in our sleep," I said tiredly.

Dean laughed gently but urged us to get out of bed. Finally Harry and I climbed out and began to get dressed after much grumbling. I only noticed that Dean hadn't left when he was still standing by the doorway when I finished getting dressed.

"Are you two back together?" he asked nervously.

Harry stayed silent. He had thought so (correction: hoped), but wanted my answer.

"Well…" I replied, "Yeah."

"Oh," Dean said, looking sort of shocked, "Since when?"

"Last night," I responded as the three of us walked out of our room and down the stairs.

Dean made quick eye contact with Ginny and said,

"You owe me three Galleons. They got back together last night."

Harry and I exchanged grins. Ginny and Hermione gave us identical disapproving looks. I felt my insides squirm with wondering what those looks were supposed to mean. I lowered my gaze from theirs and remained silent and still until Harry nudged me to let me know that we were finally leaving after he handed me my books.

"Why are they mad at us?" I whispered as we walked down the hallway.

"Does it matter?" Harry replied.

"Well…yeah," I responded as we walked into the Great Hall. My nerves were going crazy at the thought of someone being mad at me again.

"Maybe they're worried you'll leave me again. It doesn't matter, Ron, really."

"Ask them."

Harry sighed.

"Okay don't ask them," I said quickly, hoping he wasn't getting too frustrated.

"I will," he said simply.

"If you don't want to-"

"I will, Ron, okay?" he said sharply.

I fell silent. I hated it when my friends (or boyfriends) were mad at me. It made me nervous to be around them but I wanted to be around them so I could get them to not be mad at me. I glanced at Harry, he looked frustrated. I stared at the floor as we walked to the Great Hall.

"Sorry," Harry added quickly. But he didn't sound sorry.

We sat down at the Gryffindor table, Harry sitting between Ginny and I. A few minutes into the meal and Harry leaned over to Ginny and asked her something quietly. I didn't listen, I acted like I didn't know or care what he was saying. Finally Harry looked back over at me.

"They were just surprised," he said, "That I took you back."

That I took him back? Did I come off that harshly? I stared at my food and poked it around then sighed and pushed my plate away. Harry was still looking at me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied, "You just looked depressed."

"Yeah well…" I shrugged and hoped he understood. He did, and nodded, then went back to eating.

I busied myself by grabbing my homework and pretending to look over the corrections Hermione had made. I loved that she did that. It kept mine and Harry's grades up, therefore we stayed on the quidditch team. She didn't point out every mistake, that way it wouldn't make Harry and I seem that smart and most likely worry our teachers.

Finally Harry stood and I followed suit, quickly tucking my homework back into the book. We followed Hermione out of the Great Hall and to our first class, Defense Against the Dark Arts. I froze outside the doorway, Harry stopped walking and looked at me.

"He can deal with it," he said simply, and began walking again.

I walked behind him slowly, and set my homework on his desk as Harry and Hermione had done before me. He made eye contact with me and smiled gently. I didn't smile and continued walking, taking a seat next to Harry at our table.

People started filing in, the bell rang, and the slower people rushed in, trying to beat it before it stopped ringing. Lupin started class, and time seemed to slow down.

My brain was going on overdrive, trying to think about several things at once. Feelings I couldn't quite sort out. The guys I had slept with, and how they hadn't treated my like Harry had, and would. The way they used me, like I had anticipated. Most people thought I had ditched them, but I hadn't. They left me. I came off like someone who went through people, I wasn't. Not quite. I just expected them to leave me and didn't care when they did. The way I left Harry.

Speaking of whom, he nudged me, and I realized I was crying.

"Nothing," I whispered quickly, wiping my face before Lupin looked in my direction.

Harry looked worried, and I felt worried. Crying wasn't something I had done on a regular basis until this year. Relationship ups and downs? Yeah, lets blame it on that. Lupin asked to talk to Harry and I after class. We walked out with a group of people anyway. I bet he had been expecting a response like that.

I wrote a letter to Fred during History of Magic. I knew he wouldn't want to know something like this, but I decided to tell him anyway. I was the little brother, the one who was supposed to be annoying. I had to write the letter.

_Fred,_

_Me again, of course. I just want to say Harry and I are back together. I'm sorry. I went through a bunch of guys but I just came back to him. I kissed him. Actually we kissed a lot. But we didn't go all the way. _

_I haven't sorted out my feelings yet. I don't really know if I'm gay or not. But I will figure that out for myself like you told me. I'm still young. I'm still stupid. I will figure this out though. I'm trying to grow up, I swear. _

* * *

**Practice canceled. Came to my grandparents house.  
**

**Wrote this in about five minutes, sorry if it sucks. let me know.  
Review, if you liked it let me know WHY.  
By the way, has anyone had a guy named Justin Lookadoo come to their school before? He talks about sex and relationships and the differences in boys and girls and stuff. He came to my school recently. Pretty funny. He knows how to talk to teenagers. **


	13. Worried

(Fred's P.O.V)

According to the date on Ron's letter, he had sent it two days ago.

I walked along the muddy street of Hogsmeade with my twin looking for my little brother and his alleged "boyfriend". Ron wasn't expecting my visit, so when he saw me he looks like he wanted to crawl under a rock. Harry just half-heartedly waved at us.

We met up with each other and Ron looked at me like he was unsure of whether he wanted to talk to me or not. He gave George a short glare and I realized this was the first time he had seen us since the party. The last he had seen of George was him kissing Harry.

"Come on, we have to talk," I said, grabbing Ron's arm, "We'll meet you guys later." I added this as I walked off, dragging Ron behind me.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Just frustrated."

"I won't hurt him again," he said.

I paused as I let go of his arm. He looked at me with a pitiful expression that I'm sure he was unaware of making.

"I know, Ron," I said, though I was doubtful.

"Are you surprised that he took me back?" he asked.

I sighed. Then said,

"No." I tried reading his expression but this time I couldn't, "I'm surprised he finds you the slightest bit irresistible." I teased.

Ron shoved me playfully and I shook my head.

"You do need to grow up, though," I added seriously, but with a smile, "You're sixteen."

"Yeah," he sighed, and looked at me from the side, "I know."

"You know you need to grow up or you know you're sixteen?"

"Shut up, Fred."

"Yeah, yeah. But really. You have a relationship now. A real one."

We walked into the Hogs Head and I ordered two Firewhisky's. We sat down at a table and Ron traced figures in the dust on the table. I watched him do it. Lightning flashed outside our window. He jumped and looked up at it.

"It's been stormy for weeks," he said.

"Mhmm," I said thoughtfully, "So…how many times have you and Harry went all the way?"

Ron flipped his hair out of his face and replied,

"Once. Honestly."

"And?"

"And what?" but he grinned.

"How was it?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Well…I'm not going into detail. He probably hasn't told anyone."

I rolled my eyes. The old bartender set our bottles on the table and I snatched mine and took a drink.

"Okay it was really good," he finally said.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He stared back after sipping at his drink.

"Well anyways," I finally stated, "I saw the look you gave George."

"What look?" he asked, truly perplexed.

"You glared at him."

"Oh…I did?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean it if I did it."

"Okay…okay."

"Really."

"Alright, I believe you." And I did.

We took a break in conversation to work on finishing our drinks, and staring out the window at the rain and lightning. Ron kept looking like he wanted to say something, but I didn't force it out of him. I just waited. He never said anything.

"Harry wrote me a letter," I said slowly, watching Ron look at me curiously, "About a week after you broke up with him."

"What did it say?" he asked anxiously.

"He said you almost had a new boyfriend every three days."

"And?"

"Ron!"

"What?" he looked so innocent and pathetic that I couldn't assume that he thought this was a bad thing.

"There can't be that many gay guys at Hogwarts!" I exclaimed, and he started laughing. I smiled.

"There isn't," he finally said, "And I'm not the one that asks if I can spend time with them. They ask me."

"Did you sleep with all of them?"

"No. I think they just wanted it for an opportunity to say they dated a gay guy."

"How many of them did you sleep with?"

He paused.

"Six, maybe…" he said, "Well…no. Only one I went all the way with. The other five were close. I think they got…worried."

I smiled at the way he put it. I didn't question him further since George and Harry entered the pub at that point and joined us. We waited for the rain to let up but it never seemed to die, so when Ron and Harry had to leave they made there way through the storm and back to the school. George and I stayed for another drink and then Apparated back to our shop to close up.

* * *

**Yes I know this chapter sucks but I'm trying to keep a flow so bear with me.**


	14. Cut What?

(Draco's P.O.V (twist, much?))

I said a lot to Ron. A lot as in "too much". And he did the same. In the few hours we had allegedly "been together" we found ourselves spilling too much information. In an odd way I trusted him.

I told him how my father, when he was alive (he and my mother were murdered during the world), had told me quidditch was a waste of time. He said work was always put before recreation, if recreation was at all to be involved in my life. And my father also abused me.

I told him that I was closer to my mother, although I was barely close to my parents at all. And along with spilling out everything, Ron had told me that he cut.

I was confused. Cut what? I had asked. Myself, he had replied. Hidden beneath a spell were several scars and fresh, deep wounds. I was mortified. I honestly hadn't heard of anyone doing that before. I didn't ask why he did it, I could assume only so much and that's what I did.

We left each other simply and didn't spend anymore time together. It was because he had freaked me out from his "cutting", he freaked me out because we had a lot in common. The most important fact being that we both had secrets our so called "friends" didn't know.

Ron wanted Harry back. He got him back. Ron had everything. Family he could count on, "friends" that he thought could be trustworthy and loyal, the ability to play quidditch without feeling regret.

I didn't know what I had anymore. I lived with some long lost relative, the only one a live since the war. An aunt or something. The only thing she was good for was money. It seemed as though my entire family was rich, and completely insane. I didn't know how I seemed to other peoples eyes, was I insane? I knew I was rich, and so did everyone else. But was I insane? I didn't obsess over the Dark Lord, but would I when I was older? Even though he was dead? Would I conspire over becoming the next dark ruler of the wizarding world? Was I insane for considering these things?

I saw no point in having a ruler. My father had ruled me my entire life and I hated it. I had the mind set that I was better than everyone else, though, but I didn't have to rule over them. I hated seeing weak people. Ron was weak, he knew Harry loved him, so he went back to him and accepted him as a boyfriend. Ron was too weak, he pained on the inside and hid his pain with spells that covered his wounds. He didn't want people to see him. If he was strong he would bear his self-inflicted wounds with pride of showing that something was wrong, and he wanted help. Or perhaps he was so strong that he did not think he needed help. I did not know.

I did know, though, that he did not make me feel weak, strong, or insane. He made me feel like a real person. He joked with me when I was with him. He made me laugh genuinely. He made me smile. I did not love him. But he was an amazing person to have around. He did not take my orders, nor did he refuse to follow them. He just dismissed them and grinned at me when he did not submit, as though saying "you're kidding, right?" and I would shrug and we would continue on.

Blaise Zabini was a man-whore. No kidding. He slept with guys and girls. He snatched Ron away from me. I had not yet lost interest in the red-haired boy, but suppose I had been showing it? Blaise was the only one who would dare steal someone or something from me. I respected him for that, but hated him for it as well. Blaise and Ron had skipped dinner and so had I. I spotted them in the empty History of Magic classroom. I watched for some time but went back to the Great Hall feeling something empty inside. I regained my composure quickly, though.

Potter glared at me through dinner. I wondered why. Was it because I had let Ron go to Blaise? Or was it because it had been me before Blaise? I'd never know because I'd never ask. I just wanted Ron back. But maybe Ron would never leave Harry. I'd just have to see.

"Good Lord, Draco, I've never seen you so depressed."

That would be Blaise. I was laying in bed after I had canceled practice that night. I didn't feel well.

"I'm not depressed!" I snapped, sitting up and glaring at him.

"You have been ever since Potter and Weasley got back together."

"I have not."

"Stop sounding like a child. Admit it."

"Well I don't know. I've never been depressed before, I wouldn't know even if I was depressed." This was true. If you've never been depressed how do you know when you are?

"You should be depressed. They're probably shagging right now. Ron…he's quite good."

"Piss off," I snapped, climbing out of bed and heading for the bathroom. Blaise followed, smirking.

"You mean you two didn't-"

"I said piss off!" I snapped again.

"Just wondering. But why are you so upset? I wouldn't think you're gay. Are you?"

"No!"

"But why are you acting like you're in love with him?"

"Because I told him stuff I shouldn't have and he's probably telling Potter if he hasn't already done it!"

Blaise quieted. I slammed the door shut to the bathroom and we stood staring at each other.

"What did you tell him?" Blaise asked finally, actually looking a bit more sympathetic now.

"Stuff," I replied. It was childish, but I couldn't tell Blaise, he knew already, but when I told him he'd probably laugh at me. Abuse didn't faze him. It had upset Ron to a great extent. Ron was the most humble, gentle, kind person I'd ever met in my life.

"Draco…"

"I told him about my father, okay?"

"How he hit you and stuff?"

"Yeah."

"So what? Your dad's dead. There's nothing he can do about it."

"Yeah well now Ron knows my weak point."

"What's that?"

"I'm scared of getting hit. Or shouted at."

"So?"

Once I had spent so much time with Ron I had begun to realize just how inhuman my "friends" seemed. So I just shook my head and told him to get out.

* * *

**Yeah. We needed some Draco, eh? **


	15. I Felt Guilty

(Ron's P.O.V)

Abuse was something I rarely thought about. I knew about it, I knew it happened to people, but I never thought about it happening to me or to someone I knew. Harry wasn't necessarily "abused" but he wasn't treated right.

Draco had been abused. That's what he told me, anyway. I trusted him. It upset me, and I let it show when I had been with him. We had skipped classes and sat in the Slytherin dorms talking and smoking. Something he had picked up from Blaise. Speaking of whom, had walked in on us. He looked at me, smirked, and walked out. A small come on that made me leave Draco and go after him.

It occurred to me that Draco knew I cut, but who would he tell that would care? He wouldn't tell Harry a secret like that. He'd keep it. It was late at night, Harry was asleep along with everyone else. I was depressed. Not really depressed, but I kind of felt lonely. I leaned against the bathroom door staring at Harry. Moments before this I had lit a cigarette and prayed that the smell wouldn't wake anyone up. Still worried I walked into the bathroom and shut and locked the door. It was a simple spell that could be easily undone but it was a precaution I felt necessary to take.

When I finished the cigarette I tossed it into a toilet and sat against the door. With my wand I undid the spell that hid my evil deed. Some fresh wounds still stung but it was embraced easily. I reached under the waistband of my jeans where I kept my knife. I was worried sometimes that Harry might find it there, I mean…really, he might. But whenever things got really busy I would just smile at him and walk away.

The knife glided easily across my skin and the blood bubbled out and slid down my arms. I stared at it, mesmerized momentarily, and then continued. Normally I was careful enough to not go deep but tonight I couldn't stand it. The pain just wasn't enough. I kept thinking about how much pain Draco went through. How could a father hit his own son?

Each time I thought about it, the knife went subconsciously deeper. I caught myself and, frightened I had gone too far, I put the knife back under my waistband. I sat there for a moment, my eyes closed. Too much, too far. My hands were shaking, either from fear or pain. I didn't know. I tired lifting them but they seemed to be deadweight. I knew I had to hide them before I was caught. But…I had gone too deep. It was too much.

Panicking, I stood and rushed out of the bathroom and the dorm. I went downstairs quietly and out of the common room. I pulled the sleeves of the cloak over my arms and realized that my wand was on the bathroom floor. I contemplated going back but didn't. I heard footsteps and turned around. Draco. I shoved my hands into my pockets, the blood was running onto them.

"Prefect duties?" he inquired.

"No," I replied, "Just…wondering."

"So I should report you."

"Do it."

"You don't look well."

"So you're not going to report me?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, damnit!" I shouted, still worried. The wounds were deep and bleeding horribly. Now it wasn't just my arms that were shaking.

"Ron…"

We stared at each other for a few moments and he said,

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?" I snapped. My whole body felt cold, especially my arms and hands.

"Cut…yourself."

"Fuck, why do you care?"

"Do you really think I don't?"

My mind told me no but my mouth said,

"Yes."

He reached for my arm and I pulled away.

"Okay I did it again," I said quickly, "Don't touch me."

"They aren't hidden?" he asked, "You pulled away. Do you not want me to see?"

"Why the hell would I?"

"Why didn't you hide them?"

"MY wands on the bathroom floor."

"Along with a shitload of blood. And you're not there. What's the boyfriend going to think?"

I frowned. He made a good point.

"Well I should probably go clean it then."

"Alright."

But I didn't move. Neither did he.

"Wanna come?" I asked finally.

As I walked away, he followed in response to my question. The Fat lady was so annoyed when I woke her up that she didn't care who I was bringing with me.

"Stay down here," I said quietly to him, he nodded, understanding not what I said, but what I hadn't said ('I'll be back.')

I rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom. No one had moved since I left. I grabbed my wand, hid the wounds, and cleaned up the bathroom floor. The door opened. Draco stepped inside and locked it with his own wand.

"You didn't follow my orders, I'm not following yours."

"Draco…" I said with a sigh, "I'm back with Harry."

"And what does he have that I don't?"

"Me. Now leave."

"He doesn't have you now. And you wanted me to come with you, what the hell is your problem?"

"I just realized what a bad idea it was."

"You were a whore before this, can't you be now?"

"No. I have a boyfriend now. Leave me alone."

"Oh come on."

"No."

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. I hadn't realized that they had tried coming in. Draco paused. Then he climbed into a shower stall and closed the curtains. I unlocked the door, Seamus walked in.

"What's going on?" he asked, yawning.

"Nothing," I replied quickly.

"I heard you talking."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you sure?" I asked, "Because I wasn't talking."

"Whatever," Seamus muttered, walking out. I was glad that Seamus had been half-asleep.

"Get the hell out of here," I whispered sharply as Draco stepped out and walked toward me.

"Not yet," Draco whispered back, shoving me against the door and pulling out his wand to lock it. My heart was pounding and, in a panic, I realized it was from excitement.

"Don't," I whispered, mostly to myself than Draco, but it didn't do any good.

* * *

We awoke to someone knocking on the bathroom door. 

"Oh shit," I exclaimed quietly, standing up. I was glad to see my pants were still on as all the memories came flooding back, "Shit. You have to get out of here." I said the last part quietly as I pulled on my shirt. "Shit," I said again.

I was panicking more than I should have because there were no windows in the room to tell me what time it was. Draco yawned and grabbed his clothes, then darted into the shower stall to hide and put his shirt on. I unlocked the door slowly. It was Dean. There was no light in the room behind him it was still night.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"I've been sick," I replied, "I was throwing up. I guess I fell asleep in here."

"Oh," he said and I walked out and pretended to get in bed. I waited for Dean to come back to bed, and then waited a few more minutes. Finally I went back into the bathroom after grabbing Harry's invisibility cloke.

"You have got to get out of here," I said, throwing the cloak to him. He immediately knew what it was and slipped it on. He grabbed my arm so I knew where he was and said,

"Let's go."

I turned off the light in the bathroom on my way out.

"Ron?"

I turned around at the sound of Harry's voice.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Where are you going?"

"Um…I think I left my wand downstairs. I'll be back in a minute."

"Alright…"

Draco led me. Once we were outside the door he slipped the cloak off and handed it to me. I shoved it under my robes.

"Bye," he said, leaning forward and kissing me. I pulled away more quickly than I would have if I wasn't so panicky at the moment.

I watched him leave, and then walked back into the dorm. Harry was in the bathroom. I put his cloak back and pulled off my cloak and shirt and crawled into my bed. About a minute later I was joined by Harry.

"Where have you been all night?" he asked

"I was sick in the bathroom," I replied.

"What from?" he asked, I could tell he didn't believe me.

"I don't know," I replied, turning towards him.

"G'night," he said quietly.

I sighed in reply.

I felt guilty.

* * *

**Slow. yeah. okay. **

**I'm 16 now, yay me!**

**Birthday was last friday.**


	16. Find Out For Yourself

**(Harry's P.O.V) **

According to what Dean and Seamus told me when Ron and I woke up and he went to take a shower, Ron had been in the bathroom with someone that night.

Despite what I knew about Ron, I didn't believe them. He told me he was sick, and that's what I was going to believe unless he told me otherwise. Ron could have been with someone, but if he still considers me his boyfriend then fine, that's what I'll be.

Ron walked back into the room from the showers fully dressed and still slightly damp. He smiled at me as he put his shoes on. I returned it and then walked into the bathroom.

* * *

As we walked down the hallway to Double Potions after lunch, Hermione noticed the tension and tried to make conversation. Ron and I finally gave in and started talking to each other. We spotted Draco and Blaise standing near the doorway. Hermione walked into the classroom to get us a table but Ron and I had slowed down as we walked past them. They eyes us slightly suspiciously but didn't say or do anything. 

Potions went by slowly, Ron wouldn't stop fidgeting. When Snape gave us the instructions Ron would sit for a minute or two and then have to stand up and do something, like get an ingredient or go talk to Dean and Seamus.

"Ron would you just sit still for the rest of the hour?" I finally exploded.

His eyes widened in surprise for a moment, then he sat down and didn't speak. I wanted to say sorry, but I couldn't help it. He could have been cheating on me last night, with any guy he could have snuck into our dorm. Hermione gave me a look that said something like "_You could have been nicer_".

I shrugged. And the class period continued on at a snail-like pace.

Draco and Blaise were standing in the same spot near the door talking to eachother and fell silent when Ron and I walked by again. The watched us with a piercing glare that I couldn't have been able to copy even if i tried. I felt like I had done something wrong. I looked over at Ron and he gave me a pathetic glance. He HAD been with someone that night. It had either been Draco or Blaise.

Unexpectedly Ron's arm was grabbed, he yelped in pain and both of us turned around. Draco had grabbed him.

"You've got to be kidding," he growled.

"What are you talking about?" Ron asked in a small voice. The kind of voice he would use if I spoke sharply at him.

"After last night?" Draco snapped, then he looked at me, "I think Ron has something to show you."

"No I don't!" Ron said quickly, trying to pull away and reach for his wand at the same time, but Blaise had snuck up behind him and grabbed his other arm. I was too curious and slightly angry at Ron to help, he knew, and quit struggling.

I watched intently (and so did Hermione who had figured out we were no longer with her and came back). Draco lifted up the sleeve of Ron's left arm and said a spell I had learned last year, the kind that revealed hidden wounds. The heat seemed to leave my entire body. Ron had several cuts, old, slightly recent, and very recent, from his wrists to his elbow. Finally Draco let go of his arm. Ron pulled his sleeve back down and hurried away before I could say anything.

Blaise smirked, Draco looked a bit upset but otherwise pleased with himself.

"So he was with you last night," I stated, "And...how long have you known about that?"

"Cutting?" Draco asked, his voice had cracked and he cleared his throat, "Since the last time we were together. He makes himself throw up too. But he told me that last night. Can I talk to you for a minute?" his voice was scarily sincere and I nodded.

We left Blaise and Hermione and walked down the hallway. We were the only ones not in class (besides Ron, Blaise, and Hermione) and had a hallway to ourselves.

"I didn't do that to get back at him for not leaving you," Draco said, looking me straight in the eye, telling the truth, "I'm worried, honestly. He's been cutting since the beginning of the year and has been Bulimic since two weeks ago. I thought I could get him to stop maybe because..." he took a deep breath, "Because he didn't want to be with you but couldn't make himself break up with you." he said this last part quickly and lowered his head after he said it, "But that wasn't right."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked honestly, "Why do you care about him?"

"Theres no reason for me to hate you or him anymore," Draco replied, shifting his school books to his other arm and flipping his hair out of his eyes, I wondered if he got that habit from Ron, "My parents are dead. Voldemort may still be alive but he wasn't the one making me hate you and Muggle-borns and blood-traitors. It was my parents. They're gone. Why continue hating you? I envy you. You guys can be friends unconditionally. No one trusts me." he shrugged and then said, "Well...look after Ron. Okay? Don't get mad at him for last night. I only slightly forced myself onto him." Draco walked away but I told him to stop.

"Are you gay?" I asked.

"Find out for yourself." he shrugged again.

I didn't move. I didn't know if I could. I was angry, upset (in the sad way), and confused. I didn't want to find Ron, but knew I had to. There was just one thing to do before I could do that, though.

* * *

After writing a letter and begging Hedwig to fly as fast as she could (but knew the letter wouldn't get to the Twins in time) I rushed to Lupin's classroom and begged him to come talk to me because it was a student emergency. 

"I need your permission for a few things," I said quickly, "Ron's in trouble, but thats as much as I can say. I need to get to Diagon Alley as quickly as possible so I can explain to Fred and George what's going on and I need some sort of note to excuse my absences from my classes." I paused to take a breath and then added, "Please. I know I can't keep taking advantage of you just because DUmbledore asked you to watch over me, Ron, and Hermione buts its honestly, truley an emergency."

"Okay," Lupin agreed, he glanced into his classroom and gave some instruction to the students, then told me to go to DUmbledores office and ask if I could use his fireplace, "I will go to my office and talk to him there."

"How can you-?" I started but he intterupted,

"We have our ways. Just go. My fireplace is not working at the moment."

The oddity of that staement would have made me laugh at any other time. I ran to Dumbledores office and begged the gargoyles to let me up because it was an emergency.

"Dumbledore is expecting you," one of the Gargoyles told me as they opened the stairwell. I ran up them and burst into Dumbledores office. To my surprise, the Twins were there, looking highly upset.


	17. Isn't There Always?

**(Fred's P.O.V)**

"What are you doing here already?" Harry asked after we stared at eachother for a few seconds.

"We were summoned," I responded, "By his phoenix." I nodded towards Dumbledore, "He said something was wrong with Ron."

"Isn't there always," Harry muttered, sitting in a chair next to me.

"So what's wrong?" George asked finally.

"A few things," Harry said, he took a deep breath and then started, "Well, he's cutting. He's making himself throw-up. And now he's gone. Well I don't know if he's gone or just hiding in the bathrooms because I didn't go looking for him, but I doubt he's continuing with his classes considering Malfoy is in a few of them."

"What does Malfoy have to do with this?" I demanded after letting this information sink in.

"He's the one that told me," Harry replied, "And Ron told him."

"Ron told Malfoy?" I exclaimed, standing up, "He told Malfoy...why did he tell Malfoy?"

"He dated him for a few hours," Harry explained, "I guess he told him a lot. Malfoy talked to me afterwards, he said he was worried, and he told me what Ron told him." he took a deep breath and I could tell that he was holding back tears, "Because he cheated on me last night with Draco."

I groaned. My baby brother was really hurting. Hurting in general. Other people, himself. I wasn't able to handle it. George looked angry. Dumbledore was silently looking on. Harry still looked upset. I was a cross between angry and upset. I couldn't really find an even center. I was lost. I felt bad for Ron. I had been through what he had been through. At the same age he was I had cut and I had forced myself to throw up. George found out and was angry with me. I stopped. George was my support and now I was Ron's. I would never tell him what I did, though. Ever.

I started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked.

"To go find him," I replied.

"Fred," George said harshly and I turned around.

_Don't tell him, _George told me without speaking aloud.

_I won't._

I walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I didn't know how to feel about this. I looked down at my arms. George had magically removed the scars (by force, I might add). After that he had refused to talk to me. He told me I was weak if I wasn't able to handle things in other ways. But twins can only not talk for so long. And only in moments of emotional highs are we able to talk without actually speaking aloud, and he wouldn't even do that. I could sometimes read pictures in his head, like if he was having a flashback I could see it but would be able to block it out. And he could do the same with me.

When I made my way down the staircase I turned to start walking towards the boys bathroom. If I was still cutting and throwing up I knew that if I was depressed I would just go do it some more. And I knew Ron was in the bathroom when I saw Draco Malfoy standing outside it. He stared at me for a moment and then said,

"He locked it. I didn't know you could do that to the bathroom doors but you can. Apparently." he lowered his voice, "I don't want to unlock it. This really isn't my business but...I want to make sure he's okay."

I knocked on the door.

"Ron?" I called, trying not to sound angry.

He was just on the other side of the door, I could hear him breathing and it would occasionally hitch. He was crying.

"Unlock the door," I ordered, "Harry's not out here."

"No."

"Damnit Ron, unlock the door!" I tried a different tone of voice.

"Fred?"

I turned around. Ginny stood there.

"Go away," I mouthed.

"I'll tell her," Draco offered quietly, "So she's in on it. Family, you know."

"Fine," I replied, "Whatever."

"What?" Ginny asked.

Draco told her to follow him. And I guess she figured he was okay if I was okay with him telling her what she didn't know. The bathroom door opened, snapping me out of my thoughts. Ron didn't appear so I walked in. My baby brother dissapeared into a stall. I stood outside it.

"So what's this about?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

He took a deep, shaky breath but didn't say anything.

"Ron?" I said softly, "Talk to me, bro. Or I'll play bad Auror on you."

He huffed and then opened the door, peering at me. His eyes were still red but he wasn't crying.

"Where's Harry?" he asked quietly.

"Dumbledores office," I replied, and his eyes widened, "The only people that know are Draco, Harry, Ginny, George, and I. I promise."

"You told Ginny?" Ron snapped bitterly. I glared at him and he glared back, then turned away from me in disgust, "She doesn't need to know. No one needed to."

"Then why'd you tell Malfoy?"

"We have a lot in common."

"Besides the fact that you're both gay?"

"He's not gay."

"Great Ron, so you're just a fag that sleeps around when you have a boyfriend? Thats just great."

"It's not like I had a reputation to ruin!"

"Well now you have one that you wish you could!"

"You should have thought of that before you walked out of my life!"

"I didn't walk out of your life!"

"Shut the hell up. You know you did. You told me you were and then I had nobody." His tone was bitter and it made me angry. He was glaring at me like he wanted to curse me into next week, and if he knew that spell I bet he would.

"You had your friends," I snapped, almost matching his tone but mine was louder and more sharp than his, "And if you hadn't blown them off for all the guys you were sleeping with you could have talked to them instead of continuously bleeding yourself to death."

"If I'd done that then I'd be dead now," Ron hissed, "I don't do it to kill myself. You would know."

A bitter cold surrounded us. We glared at eachother for several harsh moments and then he explained,

"I saw you. Three years ago when you were fifteen and I was thirteen. I saw you in the bathroom bleeding and George punching you because he was so angry. He was looking at you the way you're looking at me now. You're who I learned it from. I didn't know what the hell was happening and I didn't know why George was mad but I get it now. You're weak. You're weak! And thats why you walked out on me! You left me because you were too weak to handle my problems ontop of your own when I needed you to!"

I hit him. I wasn't thinking at that moment. All thoughts had completely left me and only came back after I saw Ron back away from me. A cut had formed under his eye on his left cheekbone and was bleeding. It was a complete re-make of the time George had caught me cutting and had punched me because he was angry with me. But this time was different. I had taken the hit like he wanted me to. But when I blinked a few times and tried to regain sane thoughts I realized Ron was crying. Not noisily, but there were tears falling.

"Did it make you stop?" he asked harshly, and it made me wonder if he was crying from pain or anger. "Cutting and throwing up? After he hit you did you stop?"

The door opened before I could think of an answer. George walked in. I knew he was coming. I had the bathroom flashback and he must have seen it and figured out what I had done. He did. George looked at me. I was crying but I didn't know it until now.

"Get out," he said.

I swallowed.

"Get out." Firm.

If he was going to do anything to Ron he was going to beat it out of him. The habit. The need. He had done it to me. And I was his twin. I had no doubt he'd do it to his youngest brother. I wasn't going to protect Ron, no one had protected me. I left the bathroom and ehard George say a spell to lock it, then another spell and I heard nothing. Silencing spell.

"What happened?" asked two voices at the same time.

Draco and Ginny. I turned around.

"I hit him," I said simply.

"What for?" Draco snapped.

I explained what had happened to me with George.

"And knowing George he's going to do the same thing to Ron."

"I didn't know he had such a bad temper," Ginny said with a sigh, "You never did, but you are different people sometimes."

Draco looked pissed.

"He's just going to beat it out of him?" he asked sharply, "Going to hit him until he promises to stop cutting?"

"Probably."

* * *

**Don't hate on George or Fred. **


	18. End

**(Ron's P.O.V)**

I was only laying on the bathroom floor sobbing for a few seconds before Draco walked in.

"You okay?" he murmured awkwardly.

I didn't say anything. He had told everyone. Draco must have read my mind because then he said,

"I'm sorry I told Harry. I didn't know your own brother would beat you up, although I'd never think my dad would ever hit me so..."

I looked up. George had covered up all the bruises with magic before he left. He didn't really hit me for very long because I had told him before he started that I wouldn't do it anymore and I also had fought back pretty hard, too. Draco sat down next to me on the floor but never once looked at me as he did so. I turned away from him.

"If Harry walks in he'll be mad," I said dryly.

"I know," Draco replied, "But..."

"You're not gay."

"I know-"

"Get the hell away from me!" I finally said, standing up. He followed suit. "I'm not going to sleep with you anymore so just leave."

"I wasn't going to...God, I just want to klnow if you're okay."

"Well I'm not. Satisified?"

"Not really."

"I've got to go find Harry," I muttered, and left. My arms and face were in pain but I sucked it up and tried to find my most likely soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, I doubt he'd still want me after all this.

Draco didn't follow me, but I wish he had for some reason. I felt safe around him. It was lunch time. I went to the Great Hall and found Harry sitting with Ginny, Hermione, Dean, and Seamus. And empty spot next to Harry begged me to sit there. I stepped toward him cautiously. Dean and Seamus saw me and smiled. Ginny was trying to look indifferent as was Hermione. Harry looked nervous. I sat next to him carefully, he didn't do anything.

"Where've you been?" Dean asked me after swallowing a mouthfull of food.

"Erm," I satrted, then cleared my throat and said, "Sick."

"Feeling any better?" Seamus inquired.

I sighed,

"Not really."

Hermione, harry, and Ginny were silent. Dean and Seamus slowly figured out that "sick" hadn't been what had happened to me. But I decided against telling them.

* * *

I fell asleep surprisngly easy that night, but awoke to loud, rolling thunder. The room would occasionally fully light up when lightning flashed. I didn't really like thunder-storms. My instincts told me to get into Harry's bed but not after what happened. When I glanced over to his bed, though, it was empty. Seconds later he walked out of the bathroom. I quickly turned away. But I was completely shocked when I felt him climb in next to me.

"I'm not mad," he said quietly, pulling the curtains around my bed shut, "Scared, maybe."

"I won't do it anymore," I said quickly, "Anything. I won't cheat, I won't cut, I won't throw up...well unless I'm sick..."

"I don't care, Ron. You're my best friend," he casually laid ontop of me and I smiled, "My boyfriend. And you're having hard times right now. I'm not going to ask you why anymore. I won't ask you why you do it. I don't need to know. It doesn't bother me." I knew he was lying, but it relaxed me. And that was the point.

"Okay," I said.

"Ginny told me what George did. How bad to he hurt you?"

"Not that bad," I lied, and almost jumped out of my skin at a sound of loud thunder.

Harry remained silent, waiting for me to tell the truth.

"Okay. He hit me a few times and then just waited for me to promise not to stop. Weasley brothers don't tend to do all the mushy talking crap. Fred does sometimes and so do I...but not often and not about stuff like this."

We were silent for a few minutes. Both lost in our own thoughts, then Harry said,

"Do you want to date other people?"

* * *

**END.**

**Yeah yeah cry, groan, complain.**

**But a sequel is coming, dur! **


End file.
